Hi Emily! What a great image for a Comment Wall... although you've gotten ahead of me here (this would be the Week 4 assignment, depending on the type of project you decide on). Even if you decide on a Portfolio, doing the brainstorming assignments for Weeks 2 and 3 is a good way to explore the topics for the class. I'm glad the Portfolio instructions made sense (your pages look great!!!), but I hope you will do the Week 2 and Week 3 brainstorming just to see if there is maybe a Storybook project you might want to do before you decide on a Portfolio project. :-)
Em, I love your choice of topic for this. Changelings are so much fun to learn about, and there’s so much literature about them that it’s hard to just pick out one story and run with it. There is a YA series about a girl who grew up as a Changeling, and it’s one of my favorites. If you want, I can totally let you borrow it! The writing on your blog was good, and I really liked the way that you ended the piece. It’s almost obvious where it was going from the beginning, so if you were going for a surprise at the end, I would try and make her differences vaguer. Maybe make it so the others see her as different, but her mother views her as the same? It’s your story, I’m just reading it. Also, definitely provide more physical characteristics, so I can really get into the main characters head and really connect with her.
Hi Emily! I like the image you have above for your comment wall post, it's so fitting for the people that give you feedback. Also, regarding your story, I particularly likes the images and the visual appeal of your website. It was simple but also seemed to fit what your story was going to be about. Your introduction story itself was also an attention grabber and I enjoyed reading it the whole time. The one thing that i might recommend as far as improving it is adding a glimpse of what is going to come later in the storybook collection to prepare readers and get them intrigued regarding the stories that you will add in following weeks. This is definitely a semester project that I will have to flag and come back to later because I can't wait to see how it all unfolds and what happens! This is also a topic that i'm fairly unfamiliar with so it should be super interesting.
Hi Emily! Your story was amazing! I was caught up in the reading wondering why the main character was different from the others and was astonished to learn the truth about the main character. I would like to learn more about the main character in the introduction, maybe a better physical description of the others and Changelings. I was also confused on if all Others are Changelings, or if the Others also have different races.
Hey Emily! I chose your storybook for my third option. The title drew me in. When I opened the storybook, I was pleased by the look and the layout you chose. I also like the picture in your introduction. I watched a Netflix television show “Lost Girl” and every time I read the word Fae that is what I think about. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest you do. Changeling is a name I have read in many science fiction shows and movies. I like that you used it so describe the “human” instead of a word to describe a phase in a supernatural life. I am intrigued by this story already and it is just the introduction. I am excited to see what you do with it from here. I love anything that has to do with supernatural creatures because it is so different from the norm. I love that you chose this to write about. Thank you for sharing so far.
Emily, I really enjoyed your story. At the start of the class I read a project from a previous year that was about a changeling. I really like the older Fae, Snarkle who tells the story. It brings up so many questions about why he would tell her that she is an “other” and how will her Fae family feel about him telling her and the whole group about it. I only have a couple of notes. It would be helpful if you could put a link to your comments blog onto the home page of your project. Also if you gave the changeling girl a name. And in the third paragraph down, I didn’t know if “her night” needed to be changed to “the night”. It did not make sense to me the way it is right now. Great story, I can’t wait to come back and see what direction you to the changeling girl's story!
Great introduction! I definitely want to bookmark this to continue reading as you add stories! I also like that it seems that your storybook will be one continuous story rather than separate with each added story. Your story makes me want to read more about changelings! I think that most important thing with your story is to look at the big picture to determine what is necessary. Which details are necessary to the story and which are fluff? This is a short storybook, but more than that, this is only the introduction to the story, so you don't want the reader getting hung up on details when you are just trying to get them interested. For example, I got a little confused at the beginning, but then got back into it. You mention at the beginning what makes her different and it seems that the focus is on the wings and I can roll with that. But then when she discovers she's an Other, she mentions more things that make her different, such as suddenly revealing she is allergic to everything. I would either mention it at the beginning if that is important, or not mention it at all. We want to revel in her discovery and know what she is thinking, not reveal more details at the grande finale of your intro! But such great work! Again, I'm excited to read the rest.
Hi Emily! Your introduction was really beautiful and well written. I really enjoyed reading it. The flow and the language were smooth and nothing felt extraneous to the story that you were trying to tell. I also really enjoyed the way you set up your page and the pictures that you chose. They were lovely and added to the ambiance. Your choice of topic, not just the fae but specifically changelings was interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more. One thing that I would consider is adding a little more detail that would provide an idea of what the following stories will be about. For example, are the following stories going to be mostly focused on the main character and what she is hearing and learning about herself and her place, or widened to tell stories about other changelings...or perhaps a combination of the two? Also, a little more information about the differences she sees between herself and the other fae might be nice. For example, you mention the suit that her mother made, but not too many details about what it actually does or how it looks. Really great job on your story, I can't wait to read what you come up with next!
Hey Emily, what a really great start for the introduction to your story book! I liked that you created this new fairy tale type of story. You do a great job of describing the main character and developing her. I think you could go into a little more description on what a fae is. I can tell that you will describe the changeling idea in the next chapter so that is a good way to lead into what you’re going to say next. I am curious to see where this story will go. Will she find a way to fit it with the people she for so long thought of as her family? Or will she go on to find a new people, people like herself? I think that you do a really great job of keeping the reader intrigued and curious to see where the next chapter takes them.
Hi Emily! I really like your introduction story. I also like the layout of your website and the photos that you have chosen. The story is well written, and I think the writing style that you used works perfectly. I hadn't read any changelings stories before this, so I had to do a bit of research to better understand. But, after reading your story completely through, it made more sense. I wonder if you could add more of a description of the changing and give an idea as to what she looked like? Were the others aware that she was very different from the beginning, or did they not realize until it was pointed out to them? Overall, I think it is a wonderful introduction, and I can't wait to see your finished product!
Hi Emily! This is amazing. I love supernatural type stories, so this will definitely be a project that I keep up with. Your introduction did a really good job preparing the reader for the first story. It gave the perfect amount of background information so that I was not lost, but it did not reveal too much, which left me wanting more. I am so excited to see how this comes along. One thing I noticed, was that the main character does not have a name. She is the main character right? Will your stories continue in her perspective, because if so, I think she needs a name.Other than that honestly this storybook is awesome. How had she not realized before the story that she was an "Other?" I liked the storytime being a reveal to her though, but what if it had been kept a secret from the group? Why did the Fae expose her in front of a group like that? Did he know the change was about to happen? I am so excited for you to add your next story. Great job!
Hi Emily! First of all, I really like the layout of your site — everything is really lovely and I appreciate the synopsis on the home page. The story was also wonderful — It was super imaginative and you did a great job creating this entirely new world. One small thing I noticed on "The Switching Hour" (a really clever name!) is that you start the first two paragraphs with "I raced..." which does sound a bit repetitive as you use "raced" again in the second paragraph. Another thing I wondered while reading "The Switching Hour" — who among the Fae sacrificed their child to go live among the Others? Was that Fae happy to hear about the switch? I also kind of wished that we'd gotten to hear a bit more from the main character's mother — she didn't really get to react much to the situation other than shedding a few tears. Overall though, I loved your story — I'm really excited to return and see your progress!
Wow, I am very intrigued at how and where you got the ideas for your story! It's definitely one of the most different stories I have read this far. The layout of your website is great, everything looks chronological, and the pictures you use are so interesting! One thing I have been commenting on most people's comment walls if I do not see it, is the use of an introductory page, written from an author's perspective for the readers. Your introductory page, to me, almost looked like it just dove right into the story, with all of the characters suddenly being introduced. Now of course, if you're confident that the following stories will develop these characters, then no need to do that, but I definitely can see it as being of help to readers coming to your website. I myself was lost for a moment as I was taking in the new characters, plot, and detail all at once. Other that that everything looks super nice. Happy Writing! :)
Hey Emily, I really enjoyed the direction you are taking your project in. The descriptions of both the mother and daughter emotional state are great and help readers sympathize with them. I only wish we could have learned more information from the mother. She seemed very upset that the daughter had found out that she was an Other but did nothing else. It seems that the mother loves the daughter despite her not being a Fae, and even though she knows she must let her go back to her own world, hopefully the mother would want to prepare her for that. When the girl is sent away on the raven you could have the mother slip the daughter a note into her hand explaining what happened to her or what might happen to her in the Other world. Great story, I cannot wait to read the future installments in the storybook project.
Hi Emily! First of all, I love the color scheme and the images you use on your project website. They are so aesthetically pleasing to look at and they are indeed really pretty. Based on your introduction of the story, you have a great knack for details, but you balance the descriptions out with the right amount of dialogues and so your story is not too dense, which is nicely done. I like the creative words you also use in your story as well. The way you title the story is done cleverly as well and it indeed brings in the creativity. I wonder if you will explain to the readers who are the Other as well as who are the Fae? I was a bit confuse as first when I read through the introduction, but I figure these stories with mysterious creatures take time to read through to understand them. Overall, I really enjoy your writing and I look forward to read more.
Hi Emily! Your website is so gorgeous! It was a lovely indicator of the soon to come mood of the story. The dark background and the gloomy images were so fitting. Though I don't have a reference for the story, since I'm from the Indian Epics class, I was never really confused or bogged down by any confusing details, so that was lovely. I wonder if the Fae child that is, I assume in the human world, will be as interesting as the Other. It would be interesting if maybe she was more prim and somber like some of the Fae are, despite a human upbringing. Either way, your writing is lovely to read. It's full of detail, but not too full, and it handles dialogue quite well. It was lovely to read such vivid descriptions of Fae beauty, especially contrasted with the turmoil that the Other is feeling.
Hi Emily! I thought your story was really really creative! I liked your introduction, it was different than a lot of the ones I have read in that you had an actual story for your intro! I haven't read that myth before but it sounds very interesting and kinda makes me want to read it! The theme of your story honestly kinda reminded me of Elf, when Will Ferrell finds out he's actually a human and not an elf! I just thought it was a funny comparison haha! I think the idea of hiding a changeling within the Fae are very interesting. It does bring up some questions for me though, like why do most of the Fae not notice the main character is so different and is an "Other"? What is a changeling and how are they different? Are they just Others that live with the Fae? Are others humans? Those are the main things I was a little confused about, but other than that I think you did an amazing job!
Hi Emily! First, I would like to say that your website looks amazing. It is probably the best looking one I have seen in terms of the color scheme, pictures, and the vibe it gives off. Your introduction and story really impressed me and I found myself enjoying everything about them. I think one of the most memorable parts of your story is when the mom is crying. The glitter tears put a strong visual in my mind and I could really picture this emotional scene. One of the main questions I had while reading this is why Snarkle decided to call her out for being a Changeling on that specific night. It adds dramatic effect by revealing it this way, but I would just like to know exactly why he doesn’t like her besides the fact that she’s not a Fae. Also, what if the mother tries to help her escape instead of just taking her to the elders? I feel like this could add some action to the story. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed your story and your website.
Hi Emily! Your introduction was great and really made me excited to read the first chapter of your story! Then the first chapter completely delivered! I really liked your idea for your story. I thought it was very original and creative. I also thought it was very cool that this is very loosely based off of the original story and you are coming up with most of it on your own. I do have some questions about the Fae though. What exactly are they? Are they fairies? If they are fairies I am going to feel so dumb. You use great imagery when describing them so I'm putting pieces together. Is the Other world earth? I have so many questions but feel like you are going to answer them all and give me new questions! Great job and I can't wait to read more!
Hey Emily! Wow, your story was simply amazing! It immediately drew me in and I love, love, LOVE the way you write. It is very smooth, clear, and the words flow really well together. I also liked the story line for this project and your author's note did a great job of what you changed and what you kept, and WHY. I love how dramatic the story is and I could kind of put myself in that setting when I read it. I really want to read the rest of it and see if you decide to go with the idea that Ana's biological mom tells her she isn't her real mother. And you mentioned the Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare - I love that series, as well as the Mortal Instruments series!! I think it'd be really cool if you did a story that kind of aligned with that :) Great job on your story overall!
Hi Emily! First off, I love your Home page! The matches the title so well; it looks so cozy and warm! Your introduction is so captivating! And wow, the stories are amazing!! I was a little confused about who and what was happening in the Part 2, but the writing was still amazing! I feel for the narrator! It's so sad what's happening to her, but at the end of Part 2, it looks like there is a little hope, and she will be happy with her actual mother. You are an amazing author, and I had a wonderful time reading your project! I don't know how you came up with this and put it together so well! Thank you! I look forward to reading the last story! Your project takes me back to reading novels in school, and I really miss that since I don't have the time now.
Great job with the story. This week, I read the introduction and your first story: "Switching Hour". I think you did an awesome job using dialogue and imagery within your story. The story of Changelings have always been an interesting one, so I think it was really cool that instead of making it horror bounded, you made it more like a story about an outcast, which really gives your character, Ana, depth.
My suggestion for you is to maybe consider writing one story for your storybook without dialogue. Don't get me wrong, your dialogue was wonderful and I feel that it really propels the story. But I think a story without dialogue would really be great, considering the saying "Actions speak louder than words." You've left readers with a sense of wonder, so I feel that you can further explore that by using exposition to further the story without dialogue and letting the story tell itself.
Hi Emily! I really like that your Storybook all revolves around one big story! The continuing story idea is pretty unique, and it definitely pushes the reader to keep reading. You are such a creative writer, and reading through your Storybook feels like reading a YA novel, which is so cool. You've given Ana a distinctive voice, and I really feel sorry for her. I especially like the contrast between her descriptions of her home in the land of the Fae and of the hospital she wakes up in. You did a great job of illustrating the huge difference between those two worlds. I do have one question after reading Part 2. In the author's note, you say that Ana and the Fae she was switched with look identical. Is that because the Fae she was switched with was weak and therefore lacks the wings/powers/special skin like Ana? Maybe you could clarify that in Part 2 or in the next story. Also, maybe you could add the story name onto the tab instead of "Part 2." I really want to know how this story ends - you've done a wonderful job creating a gripping story!
Hello again Emily! I'm so glad that your story popped back up on my page so that I could continue reading. I love the stories you have added! I also love reading your author's notes. It seems that you really invented most of the stories yourself which is very impressive on your part! I think that the first story is very solid. I think I would like to hear more dialogue from the mother, just to get a better sense of who she is and what their relationship is. It seemed like most of that interaction was the main character explaining how she usually is. I think that the transition to the second story could clear up some confusion better. For a moment I wasn't sure if we had switched to the perspective of her Fae counterpart. Maybe it could start with "She could hear a woman speaking, but wasn't sure who she was and where she was." I think part of that is because we don't know what her name is before (maybe we do and I missed it!) so for moment I was like "oh she's always been Ana and it was all a dream". I think some sort of explanatory transition would make this story stronger.
Hi Emily, First of all, your website layout is amazing. The colors and everything just fall into place and catch the eye of the reader. I think my favorite thing about the layout is the Images that you used were really captivating. The one of the stars was my favorite. Overall I think the stories were really good, I enjoyed the style of writing that you chose for your storybook. If I had some criticism to add to this post I would have to say that I would make the second story a little longer because I feel like there could be some more detail in that story. It was a little confusing at the end there but other than that I think I was able to realize what the second story was getting at. Great storybook and I look forward to coming back to read the next story that you add!
Hello Emily! Your story is needless to say... AMAZING! I have no idea what is going on and can not predict what is going to happen. I am looking forward to all of the stories now. I only read the Switching Hour and it has me wanting to continue to the next one. Normally I would be looking for some sort of back story, some more details about a character or characters but the way you present this story it does not leave you with the downtime to need all of that. The layout is beautiful for the site as well. One thing I would like to see different is possibly making the font a little bigger. I had to zoom in to see it properly against the background color. The author's note helped a lot as well. Glad that this is mostly original, I try to do the same with my portfolio projects.
Hi Emily, What a great website, with lovely pictures. Your storytelling is also captivating, and I like the titles that you gave the storybook and the different pages. Your introduction and first story are great, but I was a little confused by the second story, largely because I did not realize until the author's note that the two girls looked identical and therefore had been switched back without people noticing, if I understand correctly. Reading back through after reading the author's note, it made a lot more sense. Also, do they have the same name? Though you mention Ana's name on the home page, it might be helpful to use it in the introduction or the first story. Also, just so you know, the title of the page for the second story still says part 2, although the title is Belong. I look forward to seeing how it turns out for Ana!
Hey Emily! I start these off usually by just doing a preliminary look over your webpage and I am impressed! I love the look of it and the maneuverability through the site. What I was really pulled to your story, like many others probably, was your title. It just really seems like I would be able to relate the primary character. I think that the stories had a great basis and plot. I was a little confused at times throughout the stories. The author's notes I thought did a great job of helping me out however. After reading it at the end it really put me on the right path. I have the same conclusion that some others I see have. I think that during your introduction maybe have a little backstory of some sorts. I'm excited to see where the rest of your story book goes! Great Job.
Bet you thought you've seen the last of me! Just kidding, you love me. I haven't come back to this since your introduction, so it was nice to read the parts of your stories that you have added since then. As always, I'm amazed by your writing! Your use of dialogue really helps to move the story along and connects the readers to the characters in a personal way. Not only that, but the dialogue sounds as if the people are actually talking, which some people have trouble with. I think that your chapter "Belong" could be a little longer. I was left wondering about a lot of things and it didn't satisfy me the way that the other parts of the Storybook did. Plus, you know I always want more of your writing. I think you could do this by providing more descriptions of the setting, or what Ana is feeling, which gives the audience more to read and a better understanding of the story as a whole. Anyway, good job. Love ya.
Hi Emily! I really love the set up of your website. All of the pictures and coloring go along really well. I also really love that your titles are al very short and do not give anything away about your stories. I really loved that layout of your stories. In addition to that, I love that you included dialogue throughout that helps your reader know you characters better. Without reading the rest of your stories, I was a little bit confused as to what was going on and where this girl came from, but your author's note helped a bit. If I have free time, I am going to go back and read your other stories as I am curious as to why she kept referring to dirt and vines being on her. Overall, even without fully understanding, you did a great job utilizing dialogue to represent the internal feelings from the characters throughout the story.
I love your story book! I think you have such a great concept for it and your execution is awesome! I’ll be focusing my comment on the second story, because it was my favorite, and I’m sure you have gotten plenty of comments on the first one already! I think the changes you made to the plot worked really well. I think not making the mother malicious was a good choice, and really lets the reader connect with her. I would be interested to hear a little bit more about what it was like growing up with the Faes, and how Ana felt like she didn’t quite belong with them. Just a thought if you were looking to expand the story! I’m excited to see where you take this story as it finishes up in the next few weeks. Once again, great job on your story book so far!
Hi Emily! I really like your take on the idea of a changeling. I've read a lot of books about them, but never one quite like this before! I think it is really interesting that you made it a modern setting, and that you are showing the story from the human girl's perspective. Most of the stories I've read are from the point of view of the family. I didn't really see anything wrong with any of the stories you currently have up (great job editing!) so that's awesome! I'm excited to read more. I hope Ana and her human mother work everything out, and the Fae realize that it was an accident. I'm curious though, is the human mother going to find out that her daughters switched? Is she going to be okay with it? I think it would be really interesting if the story ends with the girls choosing to return to the mothers who raised them instead of their biological moms.
Hi Emily! Wow, I am so glad that I was able to come across your Storybook before the semester ended. I wanted to first start off and tell you that I really like the layout of your website. I think the way you have designed it really sets the tone for the mysterious yet fairy-tale like stories you have written. I really enjoyed your introduction. It was a like a story but you also got a glimpse of what the future stories hold. I think you did a great job with making sure the dialogue made sense as well as the formatting of your introduction. Sometimes that makes the biggest difference when it comes to clarity of your writing. I would have to say that Switching Hour was one of my favorite stories. After reading your author's note, I loved it more, especially when you said a lot of it was what you had come up with. I think sometimes we get caught up in retelling a story and trying to incorporate the same elements that we don't let ourselves let our imagination loose. You did a wonderful job! I also like how you incorporated an image that would link to the next story. That's the first time I have ever seen anyone do that, and it was such a great addition to your storybook. I am really glad that I was able to read your stories before the semester is over, and I hope to come back and see what your third and final story is about! Nice job!
Hello! Your story is extremely entertaining! I really appreciated how you showed the 'change' from the human's point of view. Normally I have read stories of the humans trying to figure out what had happened. I like how in the last two pages they character is dropped into a world that she knows nothing about, and yet she somehow feels at home. I think that you executed this story well. Good job!
Hi Emily! What a great image for a Comment Wall... although you've gotten ahead of me here (this would be the Week 4 assignment, depending on the type of project you decide on). Even if you decide on a Portfolio, doing the brainstorming assignments for Weeks 2 and 3 is a good way to explore the topics for the class. I'm glad the Portfolio instructions made sense (your pages look great!!!), but I hope you will do the Week 2 and Week 3 brainstorming just to see if there is maybe a Storybook project you might want to do before you decide on a Portfolio project. :-)
ReplyDeleteEm, I love your choice of topic for this. Changelings are so much fun to learn about, and there’s so much literature about them that it’s hard to just pick out one story and run with it. There is a YA series about a girl who grew up as a Changeling, and it’s one of my favorites. If you want, I can totally let you borrow it! The writing on your blog was good, and I really liked the way that you ended the piece. It’s almost obvious where it was going from the beginning, so if you were going for a surprise at the end, I would try and make her differences vaguer. Maybe make it so the others see her as different, but her mother views her as the same? It’s your story, I’m just reading it. Also, definitely provide more physical characteristics, so I can really get into the main characters head and really connect with her.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I like the image you have above for your comment wall post, it's so fitting for the people that give you feedback. Also, regarding your story, I particularly likes the images and the visual appeal of your website. It was simple but also seemed to fit what your story was going to be about. Your introduction story itself was also an attention grabber and I enjoyed reading it the whole time. The one thing that i might recommend as far as improving it is adding a glimpse of what is going to come later in the storybook collection to prepare readers and get them intrigued regarding the stories that you will add in following weeks. This is definitely a semester project that I will have to flag and come back to later because I can't wait to see how it all unfolds and what happens! This is also a topic that i'm fairly unfamiliar with so it should be super interesting.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! Your story was amazing! I was caught up in the reading wondering why the main character was different from the others and was astonished to learn the truth about the main character. I would like to learn more about the main character in the introduction, maybe a better physical description of the others and Changelings. I was also confused on if all Others are Changelings, or if the Others also have different races.
ReplyDeleteHey Emily! I chose your storybook for my third option. The title drew me in. When I opened the storybook, I was pleased by the look and the layout you chose. I also like the picture in your introduction. I watched a Netflix television show “Lost Girl” and every time I read the word Fae that is what I think about. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest you do. Changeling is a name I have read in many science fiction shows and movies. I like that you used it so describe the “human” instead of a word to describe a phase in a supernatural life. I am intrigued by this story already and it is just the introduction. I am excited to see what you do with it from here. I love anything that has to do with supernatural creatures because it is so different from the norm. I love that you chose this to write about. Thank you for sharing so far.
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. At the start of the class I read a project from a previous year that was about a changeling. I really like the older Fae, Snarkle who tells the story. It brings up so many questions about why he would tell her that she is an “other” and how will her Fae family feel about him telling her and the whole group about it. I only have a couple of notes. It would be helpful if you could put a link to your comments blog onto the home page of your project. Also if you gave the changeling girl a name. And in the third paragraph down, I didn’t know if “her night” needed to be changed to “the night”. It did not make sense to me the way it is right now. Great story, I can’t wait to come back and see what direction you to the changeling girl's story!
Hey Emily,
ReplyDeleteGreat introduction! I definitely want to bookmark this to continue reading as you add stories! I also like that it seems that your storybook will be one continuous story rather than separate with each added story. Your story makes me want to read more about changelings!
I think that most important thing with your story is to look at the big picture to determine what is necessary. Which details are necessary to the story and which are fluff? This is a short storybook, but more than that, this is only the introduction to the story, so you don't want the reader getting hung up on details when you are just trying to get them interested. For example, I got a little confused at the beginning, but then got back into it. You mention at the beginning what makes her different and it seems that the focus is on the wings and I can roll with that. But then when she discovers she's an Other, she mentions more things that make her different, such as suddenly revealing she is allergic to everything. I would either mention it at the beginning if that is important, or not mention it at all. We want to revel in her discovery and know what she is thinking, not reveal more details at the grande finale of your intro!
But such great work! Again, I'm excited to read the rest.
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really beautiful and well written. I really enjoyed reading it. The flow and the language were smooth and nothing felt extraneous to the story that you were trying to tell. I also really enjoyed the way you set up your page and the pictures that you chose. They were lovely and added to the ambiance. Your choice of topic, not just the fae but specifically changelings was interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more. One thing that I would consider is adding a little more detail that would provide an idea of what the following stories will be about. For example, are the following stories going to be mostly focused on the main character and what she is hearing and learning about herself and her place, or widened to tell stories about other changelings...or perhaps a combination of the two? Also, a little more information about the differences she sees between herself and the other fae might be nice. For example, you mention the suit that her mother made, but not too many details about what it actually does or how it looks. Really great job on your story, I can't wait to read what you come up with next!
Hey Emily, what a really great start for the introduction to your story book! I liked that you created this new fairy tale type of story. You do a great job of describing the main character and developing her. I think you could go into a little more description on what a fae is. I can tell that you will describe the changeling idea in the next chapter so that is a good way to lead into what you’re going to say next. I am curious to see where this story will go. Will she find a way to fit it with the people she for so long thought of as her family? Or will she go on to find a new people, people like herself? I think that you do a really great job of keeping the reader intrigued and curious to see where the next chapter takes them.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I really like your introduction story. I also like the layout of your website and the photos that you have chosen. The story is well written, and I think the writing style that you used works perfectly. I hadn't read any changelings stories before this, so I had to do a bit of research to better understand. But, after reading your story completely through, it made more sense. I wonder if you could add more of a description of the changing and give an idea as to what she looked like? Were the others aware that she was very different from the beginning, or did they not realize until it was pointed out to them? Overall, I think it is a wonderful introduction, and I can't wait to see your finished product!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! This is amazing. I love supernatural type stories, so this will definitely be a project that I keep up with. Your introduction did a really good job preparing the reader for the first story. It gave the perfect amount of background information so that I was not lost, but it did not reveal too much, which left me wanting more. I am so excited to see how this comes along. One thing I noticed, was that the main character does not have a name. She is the main character right? Will your stories continue in her perspective, because if so, I think she needs a name.Other than that honestly this storybook is awesome. How had she not realized before the story that she was an "Other?" I liked the storytime being a reveal to her though, but what if it had been kept a secret from the group? Why did the Fae expose her in front of a group like that? Did he know the change was about to happen? I am so excited for you to add your next story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! First of all, I really like the layout of your site — everything is really lovely and I appreciate the synopsis on the home page. The story was also wonderful — It was super imaginative and you did a great job creating this entirely new world. One small thing I noticed on "The Switching Hour" (a really clever name!) is that you start the first two paragraphs with "I raced..." which does sound a bit repetitive as you use "raced" again in the second paragraph. Another thing I wondered while reading "The Switching Hour" — who among the Fae sacrificed their child to go live among the Others? Was that Fae happy to hear about the switch? I also kind of wished that we'd gotten to hear a bit more from the main character's mother — she didn't really get to react much to the situation other than shedding a few tears. Overall though, I loved your story — I'm really excited to return and see your progress!
ReplyDeleteHi there Em! It's great to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteWow, I am very intrigued at how and where you got the ideas for your story! It's definitely one of the most different stories I have read this far. The layout of your website is great, everything looks chronological, and the pictures you use are so interesting! One thing I have been commenting on most people's comment walls if I do not see it, is the use of an introductory page, written from an author's perspective for the readers. Your introductory page, to me, almost looked like it just dove right into the story, with all of the characters suddenly being introduced. Now of course, if you're confident that the following stories will develop these characters, then no need to do that, but I definitely can see it as being of help to readers coming to your website. I myself was lost for a moment as I was taking in the new characters, plot, and detail all at once. Other that that everything looks super nice. Happy Writing! :)
Hey Emily,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the direction you are taking your project in. The descriptions of both the mother and daughter emotional state are great and help readers sympathize with them. I only wish we could have learned more information from the mother. She seemed very upset that the daughter had found out that she was an Other but did nothing else. It seems that the mother loves the daughter despite her not being a Fae, and even though she knows she must let her go back to her own world, hopefully the mother would want to prepare her for that. When the girl is sent away on the raven you could have the mother slip the daughter a note into her hand explaining what happened to her or what might happen to her in the Other world. Great story, I cannot wait to read the future installments in the storybook project.
Hi Emily! First of all, I love the color scheme and the images you use on your project website. They are so aesthetically pleasing to look at and they are indeed really pretty. Based on your introduction of the story, you have a great knack for details, but you balance the descriptions out with the right amount of dialogues and so your story is not too dense, which is nicely done. I like the creative words you also use in your story as well. The way you title the story is done cleverly as well and it indeed brings in the creativity. I wonder if you will explain to the readers who are the Other as well as who are the Fae? I was a bit confuse as first when I read through the introduction, but I figure these stories with mysterious creatures take time to read through to understand them. Overall, I really enjoy your writing and I look forward to read more.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! Your website is so gorgeous! It was a lovely indicator of the soon to come mood of the story. The dark background and the gloomy images were so fitting. Though I don't have a reference for the story, since I'm from the Indian Epics class, I was never really confused or bogged down by any confusing details, so that was lovely. I wonder if the Fae child that is, I assume in the human world, will be as interesting as the Other. It would be interesting if maybe she was more prim and somber like some of the Fae are, despite a human upbringing. Either way, your writing is lovely to read. It's full of detail, but not too full, and it handles dialogue quite well. It was lovely to read such vivid descriptions of Fae beauty, especially contrasted with the turmoil that the Other is feeling.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I thought your story was really really creative! I liked your introduction, it was different than a lot of the ones I have read in that you had an actual story for your intro! I haven't read that myth before but it sounds very interesting and kinda makes me want to read it! The theme of your story honestly kinda reminded me of Elf, when Will Ferrell finds out he's actually a human and not an elf! I just thought it was a funny comparison haha! I think the idea of hiding a changeling within the Fae are very interesting. It does bring up some questions for me though, like why do most of the Fae not notice the main character is so different and is an "Other"? What is a changeling and how are they different? Are they just Others that live with the Fae? Are others humans? Those are the main things I was a little confused about, but other than that I think you did an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! First, I would like to say that your website looks amazing. It is probably the best looking one I have seen in terms of the color scheme, pictures, and the vibe it gives off. Your introduction and story really impressed me and I found myself enjoying everything about them. I think one of the most memorable parts of your story is when the mom is crying. The glitter tears put a strong visual in my mind and I could really picture this emotional scene. One of the main questions I had while reading this is why Snarkle decided to call her out for being a Changeling on that specific night. It adds dramatic effect by revealing it this way, but I would just like to know exactly why he doesn’t like her besides the fact that she’s not a Fae. Also, what if the mother tries to help her escape instead of just taking her to the elders? I feel like this could add some action to the story. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed your story and your website.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! Your introduction was great and really made me excited to read the first chapter of your story! Then the first chapter completely delivered! I really liked your idea for your story. I thought it was very original and creative. I also thought it was very cool that this is very loosely based off of the original story and you are coming up with most of it on your own. I do have some questions about the Fae though. What exactly are they? Are they fairies? If they are fairies I am going to feel so dumb. You use great imagery when describing them so I'm putting pieces together. Is the Other world earth? I have so many questions but feel like you are going to answer them all and give me new questions! Great job and I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHey Emily! Wow, your story was simply amazing! It immediately drew me in and I love, love, LOVE the way you write. It is very smooth, clear, and the words flow really well together. I also liked the story line for this project and your author's note did a great job of what you changed and what you kept, and WHY. I love how dramatic the story is and I could kind of put myself in that setting when I read it. I really want to read the rest of it and see if you decide to go with the idea that Ana's biological mom tells her she isn't her real mother. And you mentioned the Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare - I love that series, as well as the Mortal Instruments series!! I think it'd be really cool if you did a story that kind of aligned with that :) Great job on your story overall!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! First off, I love your Home page! The matches the title so well; it looks so cozy and warm! Your introduction is so captivating! And wow, the stories are amazing!! I was a little confused about who and what was happening in the Part 2, but the writing was still amazing! I feel for the narrator! It's so sad what's happening to her, but at the end of Part 2, it looks like there is a little hope, and she will be happy with her actual mother. You are an amazing author, and I had a wonderful time reading your project! I don't know how you came up with this and put it together so well! Thank you! I look forward to reading the last story! Your project takes me back to reading novels in school, and I really miss that since I don't have the time now.
ReplyDeleteHey Emily,
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the story. This week, I read the introduction and your first story: "Switching Hour". I think you did an awesome job using dialogue and imagery within your story. The story of Changelings have always been an interesting one, so I think it was really cool that instead of making it horror bounded, you made it more like a story about an outcast, which really gives your character, Ana, depth.
My suggestion for you is to maybe consider writing one story for your storybook without dialogue. Don't get me wrong, your dialogue was wonderful and I feel that it really propels the story. But I think a story without dialogue would really be great, considering the saying "Actions speak louder than words." You've left readers with a sense of wonder, so I feel that you can further explore that by using exposition to further the story without dialogue and letting the story tell itself.
Other than that, great job!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI really like that your Storybook all revolves around one big story! The continuing story idea is pretty unique, and it definitely pushes the reader to keep reading. You are such a creative writer, and reading through your Storybook feels like reading a YA novel, which is so cool. You've given Ana a distinctive voice, and I really feel sorry for her. I especially like the contrast between her descriptions of her home in the land of the Fae and of the hospital she wakes up in. You did a great job of illustrating the huge difference between those two worlds. I do have one question after reading Part 2. In the author's note, you say that Ana and the Fae she was switched with look identical. Is that because the Fae she was switched with was weak and therefore lacks the wings/powers/special skin like Ana? Maybe you could clarify that in Part 2 or in the next story. Also, maybe you could add the story name onto the tab instead of "Part 2." I really want to know how this story ends - you've done a wonderful job creating a gripping story!
Hello again Emily! I'm so glad that your story popped back up on my page so that I could continue reading. I love the stories you have added! I also love reading your author's notes. It seems that you really invented most of the stories yourself which is very impressive on your part! I think that the first story is very solid. I think I would like to hear more dialogue from the mother, just to get a better sense of who she is and what their relationship is. It seemed like most of that interaction was the main character explaining how she usually is.
ReplyDeleteI think that the transition to the second story could clear up some confusion better. For a moment I wasn't sure if we had switched to the perspective of her Fae counterpart. Maybe it could start with "She could hear a woman speaking, but wasn't sure who she was and where she was." I think part of that is because we don't know what her name is before (maybe we do and I missed it!) so for moment I was like "oh she's always been Ana and it was all a dream". I think some sort of explanatory transition would make this story stronger.
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your website layout is amazing. The colors and everything just fall into place and catch the eye of the reader. I think my favorite thing about the layout is the Images that you used were really captivating. The one of the stars was my favorite. Overall I think the stories were really good, I enjoyed the style of writing that you chose for your storybook. If I had some criticism to add to this post I would have to say that I would make the second story a little longer because I feel like there could be some more detail in that story. It was a little confusing at the end there but other than that I think I was able to realize what the second story was getting at. Great storybook and I look forward to coming back to read the next story that you add!
Hello Emily!
ReplyDeleteYour story is needless to say... AMAZING! I have no idea what is going on and can not predict what is going to happen. I am looking forward to all of the stories now. I only read the Switching Hour and it has me wanting to continue to the next one. Normally I would be looking for some sort of back story, some more details about a character or characters but the way you present this story it does not leave you with the downtime to need all of that. The layout is beautiful for the site as well. One thing I would like to see different is possibly making the font a little bigger. I had to zoom in to see it properly against the background color. The author's note helped a lot as well. Glad that this is mostly original, I try to do the same with my portfolio projects.
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great website, with lovely pictures. Your storytelling is also captivating, and I like the titles that you gave the storybook and the different pages. Your introduction and first story are great, but I was a little confused by the second story, largely because I did not realize until the author's note that the two girls looked identical and therefore had been switched back without people noticing, if I understand correctly. Reading back through after reading the author's note, it made a lot more sense. Also, do they have the same name? Though you mention Ana's name on the home page, it might be helpful to use it in the introduction or the first story. Also, just so you know, the title of the page for the second story still says part 2, although the title is Belong. I look forward to seeing how it turns out for Ana!
Hey Emily! I start these off usually by just doing a preliminary look over your webpage and I am impressed! I love the look of it and the maneuverability through the site. What I was really pulled to your story, like many others probably, was your title. It just really seems like I would be able to relate the primary character. I think that the stories had a great basis and plot. I was a little confused at times throughout the stories. The author's notes I thought did a great job of helping me out however. After reading it at the end it really put me on the right path. I have the same conclusion that some others I see have. I think that during your introduction maybe have a little backstory of some sorts. I'm excited to see where the rest of your story book goes! Great Job.
ReplyDeleteBet you thought you've seen the last of me! Just kidding, you love me. I haven't come back to this since your introduction, so it was nice to read the parts of your stories that you have added since then. As always, I'm amazed by your writing! Your use of dialogue really helps to move the story along and connects the readers to the characters in a personal way. Not only that, but the dialogue sounds as if the people are actually talking, which some people have trouble with. I think that your chapter "Belong" could be a little longer. I was left wondering about a lot of things and it didn't satisfy me the way that the other parts of the Storybook did. Plus, you know I always want more of your writing. I think you could do this by providing more descriptions of the setting, or what Ana is feeling, which gives the audience more to read and a better understanding of the story as a whole. Anyway, good job. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I really love the set up of your website. All of the pictures and coloring go along really well. I also really love that your titles are al very short and do not give anything away about your stories. I really loved that layout of your stories. In addition to that, I love that you included dialogue throughout that helps your reader know you characters better.
ReplyDeleteWithout reading the rest of your stories, I was a little bit confused as to what was going on and where this girl came from, but your author's note helped a bit. If I have free time, I am going to go back and read your other stories as I am curious as to why she kept referring to dirt and vines being on her. Overall, even without fully understanding, you did a great job utilizing dialogue to represent the internal feelings from the characters throughout the story.
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI love your story book! I think you have such a great concept for it and your execution is awesome! I’ll be focusing my comment on the second story, because it was my favorite, and I’m sure you have gotten plenty of comments on the first one already! I think the changes you made to the plot worked really well. I think not making the mother malicious was a good choice, and really lets the reader connect with her. I would be interested to hear a little bit more about what it was like growing up with the Faes, and how Ana felt like she didn’t quite belong with them. Just a thought if you were looking to expand the story! I’m excited to see where you take this story as it finishes up in the next few weeks. Once again, great job on your story book so far!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI really like your take on the idea of a changeling. I've read a lot of books about them, but never one quite like this before! I think it is really interesting that you made it a modern setting, and that you are showing the story from the human girl's perspective. Most of the stories I've read are from the point of view of the family. I didn't really see anything wrong with any of the stories you currently have up (great job editing!) so that's awesome! I'm excited to read more. I hope Ana and her human mother work everything out, and the Fae realize that it was an accident. I'm curious though, is the human mother going to find out that her daughters switched? Is she going to be okay with it? I think it would be really interesting if the story ends with the girls choosing to return to the mothers who raised them instead of their biological moms.
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so glad that I was able to come across your Storybook before the semester ended. I wanted to first start off and tell you that I really like the layout of your website. I think the way you have designed it really sets the tone for the mysterious yet fairy-tale like stories you have written. I really enjoyed your introduction. It was a like a story but you also got a glimpse of what the future stories hold. I think you did a great job with making sure the dialogue made sense as well as the formatting of your introduction. Sometimes that makes the biggest difference when it comes to clarity of your writing. I would have to say that Switching Hour was one of my favorite stories. After reading your author's note, I loved it more, especially when you said a lot of it was what you had come up with. I think sometimes we get caught up in retelling a story and trying to incorporate the same elements that we don't let ourselves let our imagination loose. You did a wonderful job! I also like how you incorporated an image that would link to the next story. That's the first time I have ever seen anyone do that, and it was such a great addition to your storybook. I am really glad that I was able to read your stories before the semester is over, and I hope to come back and see what your third and final story is about! Nice job!
Hello!
ReplyDeleteYour story is extremely entertaining! I really appreciated how you showed the 'change' from the human's point of view. Normally I have read stories of the humans trying to figure out what had happened. I like how in the last two pages they character is dropped into a world that she knows nothing about, and yet she somehow feels at home. I think that you executed this story well. Good job!